Both Feet In
When my mother was nearing the end of her life, Hospice gave her a book outlining what to expect.
"Betty," she informed me one day. "It says in this book that I will eventually put one foot in the other world while keeping one foot in this world."
Over the next few days, she would greet me each morning by saying, "Still have both feet here."
Finally, I said to her, "Mother, you're not going to put one foot here and one foot somewhere else. Because you have always lived your life with both feet in whatever you were doing."
Lately, I've been thinking a lot about having "both feet in." It is a concept which applies to many of our life undertakings, from writing a book, to starting a business, embarking upon a spiritual journey, maintaining an exercise regime, entering a 12-step recovery program, manifesting one's creativity, or falling in love. There is a big difference between doing any of these with both feet in, or teeter-tottering with one foot in and one foot out.
When we are not totally "in," we are always looking for a way out, a back door, an escape hatch. Frustration, delays, disappointments, bad days, unrealistic expectations, and temporary setbacks all become catalysts for giving up or getting out.
"I can't do this; it's too hard."
“I never had directions. I don't know how."
“It's so much easier for everyone else."
"What if I fail? What if I put both feet into this project, relationship, book, career, change, program, and it doesn't work out?"
Or we sabotage by such things as procrastination, lack of planning, or allowing ourselves to become distracted with everything else. These are all ways in which fear tries to prevent us from fully embracing our dreams, desires, and destiny. And we all know that fear is the opposite of faith.
It is important to understand, however, that having both feet in and being totally committed does not give us license to "force a solution" or try to "make it happen" no matter what. It simply implies a sincere willingness on our part to be open, to take a risk, to kick our fear to the curb, and to take necessary action in accordance with what we feel called to do. We take responsibility for the effort, but we leave the results up to the wisdom of the Universe.
So where are you today? Are you currently straddling the fence in some area of your life, half in and half out? What fear is this related to? And what would it take to either put both feet into the project, change, job, or relationship, or to take both feet out? Today is a good day to think about this, maybe journal with it for a while, talk it over with a trusted friend, or consider hiring a life coach-life.
By the way, as I had predicted, my mother did die the same way in which she had lived. One day she was fully present; the next day she was gone. And I continue to miss her every day of my life.
